Life on the farm is kinda laid back

I must begin by saying that there is absolutely nothing like taking a trip out to the farm in Plumerville. We (Mama, Tinleigh, Eleighana, and I) go out there once a week to visit my Pappaw and Uncle Raymond aka Great Ray as the girls call him. We started this tradition of once-a-week visits when my Mammaw got sick with Alzheimers. I cherish these trips so much. I love being able to ride the short 20 minutes to Plumerville with my Mama. I love the conversations we have. If we do happen to miss a week from time to time, I am left with a bit of a void that week. I love the calm and peace that I have everytime I am on the farm. There is just something about farm life. It's natural. It's calm. It's peaceful. Everywhere you look it seems that God is shining. The sun shining on the pond-the cows grazing in the pasture-the smell of freshly cut hay-beautiful blue skies-mature trees-a random coyote creeping across the field-neighbors and family stopping by-big tree swings-walks down the dirt road-memories of my childhood-wildflower necklaces. My list could go on and on. I love this place.

There was a time in a my life a few years ago when I was going through a very difficult time. Can I just say it was pretty much horrible? I was dealing with some things that I never ever would have thought I would be going through. There are some things that I would never even want to tell anyone about. I was hurting. I was married to a man I should have never married. I truly thought that I was following God by marrying him. I thought I was "rescuing" and "saving" his family. He and his family had never attended church and they actually are agnostic. I thought I would swoop in and save the day. But needless to say, that was not God's plan. It was evident to me immediately that I should never have been married to him. But I was. What could I do but stay married and pray for the best. Quickly life turned completely upside down. I wanted to run away. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that I was scared and hurting and wrong. But as time went on, I started to think maybe this was how life was suppose to be for me. I had made a terrible decision and married this man, so I had to live with it. I went to church every Sunday still. I prayed that God would change things. I begged Him. And then things got worse. I was in a position that I knew I could not be in any longer. So divorce papers were filed and I was on the road to freedom. Those months waiting for the papers to be final were long and hard. I was now left with all the bills and only one income. BUT I was free. I was drawing closer and closer to my Father who had been with me the whole time. I wanted to feel His arms wrapped around me. I wanted to feel the comfort that I longed for from God. About 3 months after I received notice in the mail from the courts that everything was over, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding of a very good friend. We arrived early that day on Petit Jean Mt. to open up one of the buildings there to prepare for the brunch that morning. I struggled to open this very old wooden window. I pushed and tugged and finally it opened. My words will never be able to describe what I saw and felt. God was right there in my face. Now, don't go thinking I'm a crazy gal. Of course I didn't see God standing there. I saw His beauty in the creation He had made. I felt His warmth. I felt His comfort. I felt His peace. I stood there worshipping Him in silence. I could so deeply feel the Holy Spirit saying, "It's all okay. You are truly free."

Well that is exactly how I feel everytime I go to the Trafford farm. I feel God's presence and am reminded that "It's all okay. And I am truly free." God has blessed me far beyond what I deserve. I deserve a firey hell. I could never be good enough to deserve Jesus and His grace. But because of what Jesus did for me on that cross, I am truly free and it's all okay.

I know my God made a way. And I know His word never fails. I know my God made a way for me. It's gonna be alright!