Hugs

I read this earlier this evening....

'....Soon after her family left for the evening, Mary started to think that her hospital room must be the loneliest place in the world. Nighttime had fallen, her fears about her illness were back, and she felt overwhelming despair as she lay there alone.

Closing her eyes, she began to talk to God: "Oh Lord, I know I am not really alone. You are here with me. Please calm my heart and give me peace. Let me feel Your arms around me, holding me."

As she prayed, Mary felt her fears beginning to subside. And when she opened her eyes, she looked up to see the warm, sparkling eyes of her friend Sue, who reached out to encircle her in a big hug. Mary felt as if God Himself were holding her tightly.....'

God often uses fellow believers to show us His love. "We, being many, are one body in Christ...Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them" (Romans 12:5-6).

Let me just get this out of the way. I am not a hugger. I never have been. And I thought I never would be. But I so SO much want to be. What has been holding me back? Why can't I give someone I love a hug? Why can't I give someone who obviously needs a hug, a hug? Well, guess what? I CAN. I just haven't. I haven't been sensitive to the moments when hugs are needed. And many times I have just hid behind the fact that many people know that I am not hugger. And when people know you are not a hugger, then they won't approach you with a hug. Could this be a way of keeping people at an arms-length distance? I think it might be. I am recently overcoming some pretty big "issues" if you will. God has granted me grace and love way beyond what I deserve. I love Him with all of my heart. He is first in my life. But I have not been showing my love for Him because I have not fully been showing love for His family.

When we show love and compassion in simple, practical ways, we are a part of God's ministry to HIS people. WOW. WOW! When I think about how many times I have passed up the opportunity to simply embrace someone who needed to be held or hug someone who needed to be lifted up in a simple way, it hurts my heart. I will not let any more of these moments pass. I promise.

I am a hugger. I can say it. I can do it. Because I love God and I love His people.

Sweet Girls

I have two sweet girls. I love them. Now, don't get me wrong. They have their moments (many moments at times) where they come near close to driving me crazy, but they are still my sweet girls.

Tinleigh is now almost 6 and 1/2. She loves God so much and it is evident in her heart and love for other people. She has witnessed more lately to others than I have. She is precious. She has also come to the knowledge that it is so good to please me and her Daddy. She glows when she has done something well and we praise her. She smiles from ear to ear in the adoration we are giving her. But the thing is is that she is doing these wonderful things to please us and not for her own glory. I love that.

In the same way, this is why we as Christians strive to live our daily lives for the Lord. Each day I want to bring Him glory in any way and all ways that I can. I look to Him for guidance and try my very hardest to follow through with what He has enabled me to do. I want love to be in my heart and on my tongue at all times. I want to always be looking forward to Jesus' return so that I will receive that crown in heaven. I hope that I am living a life that Jesus is proud of. I hope I will have so many crowns when I reach that City. Because I cannot wait to fall at Jesus' feet and lay them all down for Him. I want Him to smile from ear to ear and say with the love like no other, "Good job. You did it. I love you."

I can hardly wait to hear the holy roar of the angels and saints singing, "Holy, holy, holy". I can hardly wait to see my Jesus face to face. GLORY!

'Tis better to have loved and lost....

Man, this thought has been on my heart for a few weeks now. Would it be better if we all just kept to ourselves and did not let the possibility of loving another individual happen? Of course not. We love from the moment we are born. We love our moms and dads. We love our grandparents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, etc. But when we open ourselves up to others outside of our family, are we just waiting for disaster to occur? I absolutely do not think so.

Have you ever had someone come into your life that you thought was absolutely unloveable? Someone who you by chance met or maybe just an aquaintence of a friend, but they seemed unworthy of love? Or someone who had done something so dispicable that you felt didn't deserve YOUR love?

Paul insists that "love believes all things" (1Corinthians 13:7). Love believes in people. It can see the potential in them. It believes that God can take the most unattractive and unworthy person and turn that person into a masterpiece of beauty and grace.

But we are given brains from the Lord. We have to be aware of danger when we see it coming, and become "as wise as serpents" (Matthew 10:16) Sometimes we have to exhibit tough love to irresponsible and foolish people, but we can be too guarded and distrustful.

I truly believe it is better to believe in someone and have your heart broken than to have no heart at all. When I stand before the Lord one day I hope He will say to me that I have loved too many rather than I have loved too few.

Love NEVER fails.

How many people do you know who are going to Hell?

I have been so convicted about something lately. All of my life I have heard that we live in the Bible belt of America. There are churches on every corner. In Conway alone there are more than 100 churches. I was blessed to grow up in a family who took me to church since birth. They told me about the love of Jesus. They told me about His saving grace. I grew up hearing and singing the good ole hymns. I had the opportunity to go to many church camps during my youth, and I loved the time spent there so much. I actually received Christ at Budd Creek Church Camp the summer I turned 14.

But here is the deal. I am now 31 years old. And I can honestly say that I have never in my life been witnessed to outside of church and my family. No one has ever talked to me about the love of Christ and His saving grace. How is that possible? I live in the Bible belt. Conway has over 100 churches.

Which has led me to the conviction. God just opened my eyes about this. Guess what? There are so many people around me almost daily who are headed to hell. Have I become so content with my walk with the Lord that I have forgotten about my neighbors, my friends, my family, the lady checking me out at Wal-Mart, the salesman at my front door? Are they headed to hell? Have I become so self-involved that I have forgotten about my commission from my Savior? It makes my heart hurt to think that I have passed up so many opportunities to share Christ's love and salvation with those around me.

If we live in the Bible belt, why do we not share His love? Why is there so much crime? Why are we not allowed to pray in school? Why are we made fun of for being a Christian? Why are so many teenage girls getting pregnant? Why are so many people on drugs? Why are the kids at school drinking alcohol as if there is nothing wrong with it? Why are the kids at school taking horrible pictures of themselves and texting them to their friends? Why do girls think its cool to kiss other girls?

...It's because we have forgotten what is important. We have forgotten that our purpose in this life as Christians is to share Christ's love. We are to witness not only with our words but with our lives. We are to always strive to bring glory to our Father. We must become less so that He becomes more. We must put ourselves aside. It's not about us, it's about Him. Selah.

When life gives you lemons, make a pot of sunshine!

This has been quite a day. My Mama went to the cardiologist yesterday for some tests but really expected it to be nothing. Well it turned out that she failed her stress test. While she was on the treadmill there at the doctor's office, the doctor noticed that the top part of her heart was not functioning. So she was scheduled for an arteriogram and stints to be placed on Tuesday (today). She was shocked and so were the rest of us! The procedure started at around 2:50 and was suppose to last about 30 minutes. It ended up taking about an hour. But guess what! No blockage, no abnormalities, just a "perfect" heart. That was the doctor's word for her heart, PERFECT. Now everyone was shocked again. How could everything yesterday be so out of whack in her little heart and today be perfect? I sat there for about an hour praying and thinking and wondering how this could be. And then a peace came over me. How could this be that her heart is now "perfect". I can totally answer that. God. I know that my Mama was covered in prayer. I know the doctor and staff were covered in prayer. I know that my Mama was in God's hands. He is the Great Physician. He healed my Mama's heart.

I know there are people who will say that maybe she just had a bad test the day before. Well, she had 2 tests a week ago and failed those too. God can do anything. God is still performing miracles. I see them every day. And I witnessed another great one today.

But let me tell you the greatest thing of all. My Mama had a perfect heart before the doctor told us what the arteriogram revealed. She is the kind of person who puts herself on the bottom of the list. She goes out of her way to make sure everyone is ok and taken care of. She will pray for you always. She loves the way God has told us to love. She is a hard worker so that she can give her money to those who need it. My Mama is amazing. I love her.



Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Proverbs 31:28

Life on the farm is kinda laid back

I must begin by saying that there is absolutely nothing like taking a trip out to the farm in Plumerville. We (Mama, Tinleigh, Eleighana, and I) go out there once a week to visit my Pappaw and Uncle Raymond aka Great Ray as the girls call him. We started this tradition of once-a-week visits when my Mammaw got sick with Alzheimers. I cherish these trips so much. I love being able to ride the short 20 minutes to Plumerville with my Mama. I love the conversations we have. If we do happen to miss a week from time to time, I am left with a bit of a void that week. I love the calm and peace that I have everytime I am on the farm. There is just something about farm life. It's natural. It's calm. It's peaceful. Everywhere you look it seems that God is shining. The sun shining on the pond-the cows grazing in the pasture-the smell of freshly cut hay-beautiful blue skies-mature trees-a random coyote creeping across the field-neighbors and family stopping by-big tree swings-walks down the dirt road-memories of my childhood-wildflower necklaces. My list could go on and on. I love this place.

There was a time in a my life a few years ago when I was going through a very difficult time. Can I just say it was pretty much horrible? I was dealing with some things that I never ever would have thought I would be going through. There are some things that I would never even want to tell anyone about. I was hurting. I was married to a man I should have never married. I truly thought that I was following God by marrying him. I thought I was "rescuing" and "saving" his family. He and his family had never attended church and they actually are agnostic. I thought I would swoop in and save the day. But needless to say, that was not God's plan. It was evident to me immediately that I should never have been married to him. But I was. What could I do but stay married and pray for the best. Quickly life turned completely upside down. I wanted to run away. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that I was scared and hurting and wrong. But as time went on, I started to think maybe this was how life was suppose to be for me. I had made a terrible decision and married this man, so I had to live with it. I went to church every Sunday still. I prayed that God would change things. I begged Him. And then things got worse. I was in a position that I knew I could not be in any longer. So divorce papers were filed and I was on the road to freedom. Those months waiting for the papers to be final were long and hard. I was now left with all the bills and only one income. BUT I was free. I was drawing closer and closer to my Father who had been with me the whole time. I wanted to feel His arms wrapped around me. I wanted to feel the comfort that I longed for from God. About 3 months after I received notice in the mail from the courts that everything was over, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding of a very good friend. We arrived early that day on Petit Jean Mt. to open up one of the buildings there to prepare for the brunch that morning. I struggled to open this very old wooden window. I pushed and tugged and finally it opened. My words will never be able to describe what I saw and felt. God was right there in my face. Now, don't go thinking I'm a crazy gal. Of course I didn't see God standing there. I saw His beauty in the creation He had made. I felt His warmth. I felt His comfort. I felt His peace. I stood there worshipping Him in silence. I could so deeply feel the Holy Spirit saying, "It's all okay. You are truly free."

Well that is exactly how I feel everytime I go to the Trafford farm. I feel God's presence and am reminded that "It's all okay. And I am truly free." God has blessed me far beyond what I deserve. I deserve a firey hell. I could never be good enough to deserve Jesus and His grace. But because of what Jesus did for me on that cross, I am truly free and it's all okay.

I know my God made a way. And I know His word never fails. I know my God made a way for me. It's gonna be alright!

Good Golly Miss Molly!

I have wanted to have my very own blog for sooooo long now. And I finally have one! Hooray! I have so many random thoughts from day to day. Those who read this may find me to be a little Ca-razzy! :)

I just have to say that I'm feeling pretty stinkin' thankful today. The blessings abound everywhere I look. I have my dream job. I have two beautiful girls. I have a husband who loves God more than anything which in turn makes him love us that much more. I have friends who are true and will pray for anything that I ask of them. I have a family who trained me "up in the way I should go". I have a church family who is such a blessing to me and my family. I have a God who, despite all my sins, all my undesirables, all my wrongs, all my insufficiencies, all my "issues", still loves me above all else. God continues to daily show up and prove His love and grace and mercy and faithfulness to me. I am so undeserving yet He still is there.

I had a conversation with a Very Dear friend today about not letting our left hand know what our right hand is doing. Matthew 6:3. God has told us to love. He has told us to Love others above ourselves. He has told us to serve others with love from our hearts. He also has told us to do these things to bring glory to Him and because that should be in our hearts. Not for the vain pleasure of others seeing us. Our reward is not man's boasting about us. It is for God to see. For Him to see our hearts. For Him to receive the glory. For Him to know that we love Him so much that we would put our selfish needs aside and serve Him and others. He even instructs us to pray in our rooms and not to boast about our praying. I just think this is such a big deal to God. He wants everything we do to be about Him. I love that. He has made everything so easy and simple for us to worship, serve, follow, pray, and Love Him.

My God is so Big. So Strong. So Mighty. There is NOTHING my God cannot do!